Proximity
by starry night blue
Summary: When did this become a little game for us? This closeness, this kiss...?
1. Prologue

**D/C: I don't own Shugo Chara.**

**So, this was a little something I wrote after getting a full doze of Amuto moments. Gotta love those two together. Actually, this is the first story I write for Shugo Chara, but I couldn't resist this idea when it first came to mind. Bit short, but I hope you like it, just the same!**

**Proximity**

**Prologue:**

He loved to tease her. He loved watching her squirm under his gaze. He loved the way her cheeks turned crimson and her voice stuttered.

When he leaned close to her, he was able to hear the distinct thudding of her heart against her chest. He was able to hear her shallow breathing and see the definite trembling of her bottom lip. When he took her face between his hands, he could feel how warm her skin was beneath his touch. When his forehead pressed against hers, he was able to feel the beads of sweat that had formed there and the closer he leaned in, the warmer her breath became against her skin.

At the same time, he'd get a proper look at her big, honey-colored eyes, her long black lashes. He'd touch his nose to her small, button-like one, and then his eyes would drop to those full, pink lips of hers...slightly parted.

"Ikuto..." she then whispered, when their lips were a couple of millimeters away from each other's.

A small smile would grace his lips then, he'd take one of her hands between his and then he'd lift his head up, brushing his lips against her forehead. He would feel her small hand clench in his grip, and he would have to try not to chuckle. As he pulled away, her eyes would linger on his face...on his lips.

It was a little game of his, making her want what she'd never claim for herself, even though at the same time he'd be forcing himself away from the thing he longed for. He could never let himself kiss her. She deserved better. So even when he wanted to kiss her, he wouldn't. He'd just move in so close to let her get a fleeting taste of what their kiss might be like, before pulling away...before stopping himself just in time.

Letting go of her hand, he'd ruffle her hair despite her cry of protest, and with a short wave he would turn on his heels and walk away.

He was doing the right thing, so why were his feet so heavy? Why did his chest feel so empty?

_What's so different about you, Amu Hinamori? _

**-**

**A/N: Well? Did you like it? I intended for this to be a one-shot, but if I get some positive feedback, I may actually turn this into a prologue and make it a full story. Ah, well, please review!**

_- S. N. B. _


	2. Chapter 1

**D/C: I don't own Shugo Chara.**

**Well, with the lovely feedback I got, I decided to carry on with this story. As some of you have guessed, this is going to be a little bit of sad, angsty story, but I still do hope you continue to enjoy reading it, just the same. Happy Reading!**

**Proximity**

**Chapter 1:**

Being a cat, Ikuto didn't feel like he could relax anywhere that wasn't remotely high. That's why he preferred staying on rooftops, that's why his bed was one of those you got to by climbing a ladder, that's why when Yoru came to look for him in the park, he found him sitting on a tree branch, his arms crossed behind his head, his eyes closed while he enjoyed the late evening breeze.

The feline-like chara padded softly across Ikuto's thigh and climbed up to his shoulder. Ikuto didn't even open his eyes. He just inclined his head a little so that he could rub his cheek against Yoru's head as a way of greeting. "Where've you been?" he murmured.

"Miki," Yoru answered shortly.

Ikuto smirked. So it was true; his chara really did have a thing for Amu's artistic chara. He didn't press on the subject any further, and was ready to drift back into his afternoon nap once more if it hadn't been for Yoru's sharp claw cutting his cheek. Startled, he sat up and made a grab for his chara. He looked sternly at Yoru, whose head protruded from Ikuto's fist. Yoru just gave him a quiet glare.

"Whatever was that for?" Ikuto demanded. Yoru scoffed and Ikuto had to strain to stop himself from tightening his grip around the chara's little body. "Yoru!"

Yoru gave another short answer, "Amu."

Ikuto blinked. He frowned at his chara for a moment before uttering a soft chuckle. "Are you jealous because of all the attention I've been giving to Amu?" he questioned him. "Well, then, I should say the same to you. I hardly see you anymore because..._ouch_! Yoru!"

Yoru had bit his hand, and already tiny beads of blood were forming against his skin. Ikuto brought his fist up so that his eyes were in level with his chara's face. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he demanded angrily.

"Miki's upset," Yoru muttered.

"And how is that my problem?"

"Miki's upset because Amu's hurt," Yoru went on.

Ikuto's chest tightened ever so slightly. Amu was hurt? Physically or emotionally? How badly was she hurt? Should he go and see her? Would she welcome him? He was unconsciously squeezing his chara to death and Yoru yelped out in pain. Ikuto dragged himself away from his train of thought and loosened his grip around Yoru. He tried to look casual. "And you felt the need to attack me why?" he inquired.

"Because it's your fault Amu got hurt. You left her alone in the park yesterday and...she got attacked," Yoru said in a rush.

The air escaped from Ikuto's lungs. His mind went momentarily blank. He had the vague feeling that he was falling from the tree, and didn't come to until his side collided with a ground and pain seared through his body. He let out a hollow grunt and attempted to get up to his feet, completely oblivious to the people who had watched him fall and were screaming at him to stay still. Yoru landed on his tummy with a soft thud, all hostility was gone from his big eyes now.

He gazed affectionately at Ikuto. "She's in the Central Hospital," he informed him.

Ikuto smiled gratefully at the little cat-like creature. He scrambled up to his feet with some difficulty, and ran as fast as his wobbly legs would allow him. Yoru clinged onto his shoulder, giving him directions. But Ikuto didn't need to listen to him. He could already tell where she was. He could sense her. He could envision her in his mind, lying on a white hospital bed covered in black and blue bruises...and it made his heart constrict.

--

There she was. She looked worse than he'd imagined.

Ikuto had to go through different means to convince the nurse to let him see her, and when she still wouldn't let him, he'd had to climb up the hospital building and sneak in through her window, which luckily happened to be slightly open. He pulled it further open to slip in and was about to close it shut when his eyes fell on her...and he debated whether to stay or jump back through that window.

She lay there in her white bed looking absolutely pale, which served to further show how dark her bruises were...beneath her eyes, on her left cheek, her left ear...even her arms were sporting nasty black and blue marks. Her silky pink hair was messy and looked like it was missing many strands, making it look appear less thick than it usually was. She looked absolutely frail and delicate, as if she may break if he touched her. He wondered what had happened to her. It made his heat ache seeing her like that.

He walked over to her bed and picked up her chart and let his eyes skim over it. Ikuto wasn't an expert, but he knew what he was looking at here. He knew what it was and he didn't like it one little bit. Amu was a rape victim.

Ikuto felt the ground spin beneath him. He was dizzy. His vision swam before him. He didn't he know what to think. Was there a need to think, anyway? Amu had been raped. Pure, innocent Amu had been raped, so what was left in the world? Who could do something so vile and still walk around without a care in the world? Who did this to her? A little twelve-year old, she was...did people have no conscience?

"Amu..." he croaked.

She seemed to stir then, and he started to turn and hurry out of the room, but his legs wouldn't help him and his feet seemed glued to the floor. So when Amu opened her eyes, the first thing she was him standing at the foot of her bed. However, she didn't smile, she didn't give him any indication of him being welcome...in fact, she looked a little bit frightened. He moved closer to her, he reached out for her but she flinched even before he'd laid a finger on her so he drew back immediately.

The look in her eyes...betrayal.

Ikuto gulped. What did Yoru say? She'd been attacked in the park after he'd left her there on her own, so this was his fault. It was his own fault that she'd ended up here on the hospital bed, bruised and battered and...violated. He had brought this upon her, all because he was selfish and didn't want to kiss her. If had kissed her and stayed with her and given her a walk home later on, then she would've been sleeping soundly in her own room and her own bed.

She was a carefree before, and now she was a scarred child, with the possibility of...pregnancy? Amu couldn't be pregnant, could she? Ikuto felt a lump rise in his throat, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to swallow it. There was a prick in his eye and his mouth felt exceptionally dry.

"Who did this to you, Amu?" he whispered.

Amu wasn't even looking in his direction, but from the way his voice sounded, he could tell that she was crying. "I don't know," she said hoarsely, wrapping her arms protectively around herself. "Some fat, pot-bellied asshole..."

His heart went out for her. A small girl such as Amu, taken by a fat, old guy twice her size...the mere thought made the hair on his skin prickle. How dare he? How dare he even lay a finger on her? He himself hadn't dared to even kiss her, and this guy just came along and...and...

Ikuto stopped. Then again, he wasn't any better than that guy...maybe he hadn't raped Amu, but wasn't he always pulling her into his arms despite her protests? Wasn't he always hassling her, licking her? Wasn't he always biting her ear? His eyes traveled to the blue mark on her ear...that could've easily been him, giving her a casual bite and then having that develop to something more violent.

How could he even trust himself with her?

Involuntarily, Ikuto took a step back, accidentally knocking over a chair. Amu looked around, startled, and saw that he was backing away from her, moving towards the window. She frowned. "Ikuto, what are you...?"

"I'm so sorry, Amu, I really am," he murmured, not quite meeting her eye.

"Huh?" she said, apparently perplexed.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, with a slight bow of his head. "I hope you get well soon."

"Ikuto, wait!" she cried, but he didn't stay to hear what she had to say. He had already pulled the window open and climbed outside. He balanced himself on the windowsill and slammed the window shut behind him. Yoru was waiting for him outside and he looked up at him with bright eyes.

Ikuto sighed heavily. "Let's go, Yoru," he murmured. "We're not supposed to be here."

--

**A/N: The first chapter is now done! How did you like it? Was it good? I look forward to reading your comments! Thanks for reading.**

_- S. N. B. _


	3. Chapter 2

**D/C: I don't own Shugo Chara!**

**Hello! Sorry it took me so long to update, but I've been swamped with university work and a lot of things have been going on The Muse Bunny so I really didn't do much writing in the last few weeks. But, I thought I should put up another chapter before NaNoWriMo starts and takes up all my time. Thank you all for your kind reviews, and now, I'll leave you to read the next chapter!**

**Proximity**

**Chapter 2: **

_Amu let her eyes travel after Ikuto as he walked away from her. She wanted to burn twin holes into his back with her gaze, she wanted him to feel how angry and frustrated she was with him. But he didn't seem to notice. He just kept on walking until he was out of sight, and then she sighed and let out a breath that she'd been holding. _

_He always, __**always**__did this to her. He always teased her like that. She only wanted a kiss...a little kiss...but he never seemed to want to give it to her, and she would never be so bold so as to actually pull him down and kiss him herself. She grumbled unhappily and wrapped her arms around herself, shielding herself from the cold. If Ikuto had kissed her, he'd be here with his arms around her, making her feel warm..._

_She shuffled her feet. She was hoping he'd come back for her, which was why she was waiting a little bit longer. A few minutes passed, but Ikuto didn't return. Grumbling underneath her breath, she decided she'd better get home. She started down the path leading to the main gate, her hands shoved into the pockets of her jacket. She saw a man coming from the opposite direction, but she paid no heed to him. _

_That is, until he reached out and made a grab for her arm just as she attempted to walk past him._

_"Hey! What are you...? Let go of my arm!" she cried._

_But the man only pulled her closer to him despite her loud protests, pressing her against his fat belly. She tried to pound him with her fists but he captured both her wrists between his hands and pinned them behind her back, so that he was leaning over her now. She could smell his drunken breath against her face, and tears welled in her eyes. _

_"Let me go!" she yelled. She hoped someone would hear her, but there seemed to be no-one in the park at this late hour._

_"Such a pretty thing..." he murmured. _

_Amu felt her chest constrict. She tried to wriggle free, but the man was much stronger than her, and had twisted her arms behind her back in such a way that they actually hurt. Where were her charas when she really needed them?_

_Her first real shock was when she felt teeth nipping at her exposed neck. She felt like her body had frozen over. She was numb. She tried to scream, but the man had already captured her lips between his and was forcing his tongue into her mouth. She seemed to convulse when she felt his tongue rolling around hers. She wanted to scream, but for some reason, she couldn't even move. Terror had taken over her. _

_Before she knew it, the man had slipped a hand beneath her skirt so that he was cupping her bottom, and was half dragging her and half carrying her to a secluded clump of nearby bushes. With her arms still pinned behind her, he pushed her down roughly to the grass and lay on top of her. She was pinned completely. _

_Her second shock was when she felt the man's fingers that were still feeling her up underneath her skirt hook themselves onto her panties' waist band and started to pull them down. She shuddered violently._

_Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God..._

_When he released her lips just enough to trail kisses down her collar bone and he started to tear the buttons of her shirt off with his teeth, she found her voice. _

_"Please no..." she begged. "Please don't do this..."_

_But the man's mind was already on other things..._

_----_

Amu woke up with a jolt. She was shivering violently. For a moment her body felt limp and cold, but then she felt as a million needles were striking her skin. She winced, and tears stung her eyes. She felt rather sweaty and sticky, and her pink hair was matted to her face and neck. She felt clammy and dirty. She wanted to sink in a tub of boiling water and just remain there, but she wasn't allowed to move. She had to stay in bed.

The incident was still too fresh in her memory. She wanted to forget it so badly, but her memory would not aid her. Flashes of the man tearing off her clothes, biting her, touching her, groping her kept invading her mind and she would then start to cry. She hated herself for being so helpless. She could've fought him off and then run away...she really could've stopped him...

She felt as if his hands were still all over her body. She could still feel the man's coarse hands running down the naked length of her body and she trembled. She wished there was someone with her at the moment to distract her. Her mother had gone back home to get some things for her, and Ikuto...

When Ikuto had come into the room all she wanted was for him to hold her and soothe her. But once he'd approached her bedside she felt herself involuntarily recoiling from him. She didn't want him to touch her. She was scared. She had been frightened when her mother and father hugged her, so how would she be able to deal with Ikuto touching her? She didn't look at his face, thinking that it would probably weaken her resolution but already another idea was invading her mind.

Her first kiss...

She'd hoped Ikuto would be the first one to kiss her, but now...there wouldn't be a first time for anything with him. That man had invaded all her privacy and personal space. She felt like she was damaged goods. He probably thought so, too, because he'd left the place right away. That's when she cried herself back to sleep again.

"Ikuto..." she whimpered.

"Sweetie, I'm back!"

The door was thrown open and her mother walked in, holding a few balloons and a bag. She stopped when she saw her daughter and the balloons slipped from her fingers and touched the ceiling. She rushed forward and enveloped her into a gentle hug. Amu cringed at first, but she relaxed a little bit later.

"You're crying again..." she murmured, stroking her hair."Don't worry, sweetheart, everything will be okay. You'll see."

_How will anything be okay, mother? _

_Everything's completely messed up..._

_----_

"Ikuto, you should go back..."

Ikuto turned over in his bed and gave his back to his chara. He didn't want to have to deal with the accusing looks Yoru was giving him. He was already feeling quite guilty as it is and didn't need his chara to make him feel even guiltier. He wrapped his arms around himself and curled up into a ball. He could hear Yoru rustling about, padding on the bed...he knew he was trying to subtly drag his attention to him, but he ignored him.

He squeezed his eyes shut, but he no matter how tightly he squeezed them, he couldn't block the image of Amu's battered body from his mind. And it made him cringe and clench his fists.

It was his fault. He had left her there on her own. What was he thinking, leaving a girl all on her own in a park at ten p.m. when he was the one who had taken her there in the first place? Amu was right to always call him a jerk. He was a jerk. He was a downright asshole. He was worse than that pedophile who had raped her.

But he wanted to find that bastard and beat him up. He wanted to kill him. Maybe that would make Amu feel better. Maybe it would make her feel safe again...

He remembered how she'd flinched when he tried to touch her, and he swallowed. Will he ever be able to touch her again?

-

**A/N: Well, how was it? Good enough? ^_^ I hope you did like it, and I promise I will try to update soon next time! Keep your fingers crossed so that I'd finish NaNo soon! XD Thanks for reading!**

_- S. N. B. _


	4. Chapter 3

**D/C: I don't own Shugo Chara.**

**Whoa...I really forgot about this fic. I mean, I knew there was something I'd forgotten, but I couldn't quite figure out what it was, but then I was checking my account and I saw this story and..."D'oh; that's what you'd forgotten, dummy." Hehe.**

**Proximity**

**Chapter 3:**

Amu climbed into the backseat of her mother's car and closed the door. She then locked it for extra measure. Sighing, she leaned back and rested her head against the leather seat. The hospital was finally discharging her today after a week of confinement. During her stay, the other Guardians visited her every day, but they were the only ones she'd allow to visit. She didn't want any of the other students to see her like that. She didn't trust them enough.

Her body had healed quite well, but she still felt broken. She doubted anything would be able to heal that. She doubted she'd be able to forget what had happened to her that night. The memory was just burned into her mind.

Her parents were always by her side, comforting her, supporting her. They tried to assure her that everything was alright, but even they didn't seem convinced. Her mother would hurry out of the room at odd times and Amu would hear her crying outside. When her parents weren't there, her charas remained by her side. They would try to joke around in order to cheer her up, they would talk about the most mundane things to take her mind off of things, but nothing worked. Nothing ever worked.

But the one person she wanted to see the most...the one person she believed would help her the most...he never came along. The thought of him always made her tear up and she would bite down her tongue to stop herself from crying.

_Ikuto..._

Her mother climbed into the driver's seat. She looked around at her daughter and gave her a big, hearty smile which didn't quite belong to her. "We're going home, darling," she told her. "I've made you all your favorite dishes. And desserts, too! Chocolate cake, biscuits, truffles! Everything you could ever want!"

Amu returned her mother's big smile with a strained smile. "Thanks, mom, but I just want to get home and sleep," she replied.

Her mother's expression drooped. "Oh," she said. Then she smiled again. "Well, you can always eat when you wake up, right, Amu-chan? We'll all have a big family dinner tonight. It will be quite wonderful, dear!!"

Amu only nodded before closing her eyes. She didn't want to talk anymore, and she hoped her mother would take the hint. She didn't want to eat and she didn't want a big family dinner; all she wanted to do was curl up in her big bed and sleep forever and ever. She wanted to be in her bedroom, in that room where Ikuto would always come to visit her. She was secretly hoping that he'd come and see her again.

As the car started to move along the road, Amu opened her eyes again. She glanced out the window at the passing surroundings; buildings, cars, people...everything looked fine. Everything looked absolutely great, but of course they would. They didn't go through what she went through. They weren't violated. They were still okay. They were fine.

Amu wanted to be okay again.

"We're here!" her mother announced after a while. "Welcome home, Amu-chan!"

She just nodded again and climbed out of the car. She trudged to the front door after her mother, who had hurried ahead to unlock the door. Her little sister, Ami came rushing to greet her, but Amu just walked past her without a second look. As she made her way slowly up the stairs, she heard her crying and heard her mother trying to comfort her. She placed her hands over her ears and rushed up the remaining steps. She dashed inside her room and slammed the door shut behind her. After a moment's hesitation, she turned the key in the lock.

She flung herself on the bed and pulled the sheets around her. Then she buried her face in the cushions and sobbed. Her sobs sounded muffled, and for that she was grateful; she didn't want her mother rushing up to check on her. Amu didn't know how long she stayed like that; she just drifted off to sleep and woke up to find that the sun had set and it was quite dark outside. Amu sat up and looked around blearily; it took her a few moments to register that she was in her room.

Trying to stifle a yawn, she swung her legs off of the bed. She had forgotten to turn on the radiator before dozing off, and she shivered as her feet touched the cold floor. Wrapping her sweater tightly around her, she padded over to her dressing table. She hadn't taken a look at her face since she'd been admitted into the hospital. Everyone had told her that she'd healed quite nicely and all her bruises had disappeared, but they would all say anything to cheer her up.

She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, and then opened them suddenly, as if the act of doing that would lessen the effect of the shock. Her reflection blinked back at her. Her reflection looked quite normal; no black-eyes, no bruises, no scratches or cut. They hadn't been trying to deceive her; she did look alright. However, at the same time, she felt quite...hideous. She didn't want to look at her reflection. She wanted to shatter each mirror in the house, but she doubted her parents would let that slide.

Amu wanted company, and didn't want it. She wondered where her charas were; they had disappeared after her mother came to pick her up and hadn't reappeared since. What could they possibly be up to? She didn't want people to talk to her, she just wanted to feel their presence around her; it made her feel safe. But no-one understood that; they all assumed that talking made things better. Her charas always sensed when she was up for a chat, and when she was not.

Ikuto was another person who could do that. She wanted _his _company.

_Where are you, Ikuto? _

-----

_Uh...why do you want to get the embryo? What is Ikuto's wish? _

At the time when Amu had asked him that question, he had a definite wish in his mind. But at this moment, he felt like altering that wish. If he could get his hands on the embryo right then and there, he would wish to find the guy who hurt Amu so that he could kill him. Even better, he would wish that the man had never even hurt Amu.

"What are you thinking?" Yoru piped up from Ikuto's left shoulder.

Ikuto grunted.

"I see, I see," Yoru murmured. He scratched Ikuto's face, and the latter yelped. "Don't ignore me!"

"I'm not ignoring you," Ikuto protested.

"You are! You're not talking to me!" Yoru said angrily.

"I'm sorry, but I'm thinking," Ikuto replied dully.

"You just told me you weren't!"

"I didn't say anything. If I recall correctly, I just grunted, which could mean either yes or no."

"_Liar._"

Ikuto just sighed. He couldn't handle Yoru at the moment. He wished his chara would just leave alone, but Yoru was stubborn; he would prefer to stick to Ikuto rather than go and take a dip in...say, a tuna fish pool. It had its pros and cons; Ikuto appreciated the loyalty, but sometimes he missed the privacy. At times when Yoru would start talking and nagging, he would just tune out and lose himself in his thoughts.

He kicked a pebble as he walked down the street. He wasn't headed anywhere; he was just taking a stroll. Cats always liked strolls, especially at night time when the moon light was just pouring over the roof tops. He was secretly hoping that he'd just come across this man who'd hurt Amu...that by some chance, he'll come across a man who was bragging about the time he'd spent with some underage girl, and he would know right away that it was Amu, and...and then what? Would he really kill him? He was always running from things, so maybe he'll just run away from this man as well...

_I'm just pathetic. _

"Ikuto..." Yoru whispered.

"What?" Ikuto snapped, losing his cool.

The chara didn't say anything; it was just gazing at something. Ikuto followed the direction in which he was looking, and felt a lump rising in his throat when he saw where his feet had dragged him. He was standing right in front of Amu's house. He gazed at her bedroom window, and saw that the lights were on.

"She got discharged today," Yoru answered his unvoiced question. Ikuto raised an eyebrow at him. "Miki told me."

Ikuto looked back at the window. He could almost _see _Amu in there...maybe sitting in front of her dressing table, pulling a comb through her hair. Or maybe she was lying on her back on her bed, staring at the ceiling. Or maybe she was just huddled up in a corner, hugging her knees to her chest. In all three pictures, he could see the tears rolling down her cheeks. He caused those tears. She was crying because of him.

"You should go up to her," Yoru suggested. "I'm sure she would like to see you."

"She hates me, Yoru," Ikuto retorted. "You saw how she flinched when I tried to touch her back at the hospital. She knows I'm the reason why all this happened to her and she hates me for it."

"She was still in shock, Ikuto; she was probably just taken by surprise. You did come in through the window, after all," Yoru reminded him.

"That's just bull."

As much as he yearned to touch Amu again, he would just not do it. For her sake. So he just turned and walked away from the house. Yoru tugged at his ear and yelled at him to go back, but Ikuto had long since tuned out.

He didn't want to think about her anymore.

----

**A/N: Wewt, all done. This chapter was also about reflections and stuff, but I promise there will be more...erm, action in the upcoming chapter, which I promise I won't be forgetting about anytime soon! So...I hope you liked this chapter! I would really appreciate reviews, thanks!**

_- S. N. B. _


End file.
